I've finally managed to come online. After being silly and selecting "activate power saving mode" on my phone, I realised that the reason why I couldn't come online using my phone as a modem is because I selected that mode. By selecting that mode, I am connected to the internet via the GSM network, which according to Mr, is a slower network as compared to the 3G network. After chainging it to normal "non-power-saving" mode, my phone immediately acted as it should as a modem. It clicked, went online, with the wire connecting my phone with the computer. (or maybe, the WLAN at home suddenly worked, as it may have happened)
Why I'm here today is because I feel surpressed. I want to tell people things, but feel that I should not. To abide to social norms, to keep to myself, to act as I am here. And other reasons probably. Other reasons maybe.
I've been wanting say how I feel when I listen to people speak Mandarin. This, has been touched on before, when I wondered where the average Chinese-speaking Singaporean come from. Eating lunches myself, or any meals, I will try to figure out whether the person sitting beside me is a Singaporean or Malaysian, by just listen to their accent. And it is quite easy to tell.
1. Yes. Malaysians sing songs. Try listening harder if you can't tell. If not, I'll teach you how.
2. We use short forms such as PJ to mean Petaling Jaya.
3. We mix Mandarin with a bit of English, a bit of Hokkien, a bit of Malay. Yes, you can say that that is the definition of Singlish, but...the terms we borrow from each language is different. Like "hen2 geng3", meaning very powerful, or very smart, or good in whatever way. You won't hear an average Chinese-speaking Singaporean say that.
I hear this, mixing Mandarin with "but", "every time", and other terms, and I consciously or sub-consciouly translate it to Mandarin in my mind. 可是,每次。Can't you say something in a full sentence without using English or other languages.
I was told off or said by my Penang friends before, that I talk like that, mixing Mandarin with English. That was in my secondary school years, I remember. But why do you talk so now, person beside me? Why oh why, just say something using Mandarin only. My wanting, desire or need to here or crave something familiar, or someone speak in Mandarin only using Mandarin is getting stronger.
Yes, I realised that I am imperfect, that I mix my languages around too. But I try. I try to speak proper English, which should be improving, cus Mr's Mandarin was poor, and I have to talk to external people for work. Have to try to sound professional and learn to explain things well. I want to speak proper Mandarin, but if I speak too proper, I feel socially awkward.
This is the world I live in. In my head. The disconnect between reality and inner thoughts.
I have something else to share, but I will write it in a separate post, because it will get too long.
Why I'm here today is because I feel surpressed. I want to tell people things, but feel that I should not. To abide to social norms, to keep to myself, to act as I am here. And other reasons probably. Other reasons maybe.
I've been wanting say how I feel when I listen to people speak Mandarin. This, has been touched on before, when I wondered where the average Chinese-speaking Singaporean come from. Eating lunches myself, or any meals, I will try to figure out whether the person sitting beside me is a Singaporean or Malaysian, by just listen to their accent. And it is quite easy to tell.
1. Yes. Malaysians sing songs. Try listening harder if you can't tell. If not, I'll teach you how.
2. We use short forms such as PJ to mean Petaling Jaya.
3. We mix Mandarin with a bit of English, a bit of Hokkien, a bit of Malay. Yes, you can say that that is the definition of Singlish, but...the terms we borrow from each language is different. Like "hen2 geng3", meaning very powerful, or very smart, or good in whatever way. You won't hear an average Chinese-speaking Singaporean say that.
I hear this, mixing Mandarin with "but", "every time", and other terms, and I consciously or sub-consciouly translate it to Mandarin in my mind. 可是,每次。Can't you say something in a full sentence without using English or other languages.
I was told off or said by my Penang friends before, that I talk like that, mixing Mandarin with English. That was in my secondary school years, I remember. But why do you talk so now, person beside me? Why oh why, just say something using Mandarin only. My wanting, desire or need to here or crave something familiar, or someone speak in Mandarin only using Mandarin is getting stronger.
Yes, I realised that I am imperfect, that I mix my languages around too. But I try. I try to speak proper English, which should be improving, cus Mr's Mandarin was poor, and I have to talk to external people for work. Have to try to sound professional and learn to explain things well. I want to speak proper Mandarin, but if I speak too proper, I feel socially awkward.
This is the world I live in. In my head. The disconnect between reality and inner thoughts.
I have something else to share, but I will write it in a separate post, because it will get too long.
0 comments:
Post a Comment