...of how many days of work, of stress (from work and a sense of pride to produce quality work), of tiredness (not as bad as sis), of moments of wondering what the toot am I doing here. No. It's okay. It's alright. I tell myself.

Things are gradually changing. I wonder how in the world could I forget my best friend's birthday. Ah. What have I allow myself to fall into, that I can even forget numbers. Of my best friend's birthday. Ahh.

And walking down the tanjung pagar road, cantonment road, you can hear bouts of Singapore Mandarin. Yes. A new breed, that I unconsciously weave each individual syllable into. No. I tell myself I do not speak that breed of Mandarin.

You see, as I walk about during lunch or after work or even on the way home in the bus, I hear different things. Singapore Mandarin. I see different things - men in long sleeves and black pants, women in working clothes. Some with nice covered toed shoes, some lady slippers, and some like real homely slippers. Hm.

I see crudeness. Why in the world do the general black hair yellow skin people look up to red hair white skinned people (sounds like a description of a rambutan). Not all of them are courteous. I see them sit on the bus seats, and see an old lady or old man standing. Like hellooo, can't you see that someone else needs the seat more than you do?

I have felt the urge a couple of times. To ask those who are sitting down (whether white skin or yellow) to stand up, and allow those who need it more to sit down. Helloo my friend, are you so pre-occupied with your thoughts, with your gadgets (whether it's a pad or a phone) or choose to be blind to the pregnant, old and the young? I have to confess that I am guilty of this blind act too. I pray that I choose to see the needy around me.

Now back to the story I wanted to blurt out. Where did these average Singaporeans come from?

Well first, we have to define what does "average" refer to. Let's define some parameters - income, number of years of education, height, looks, social etiquette, language, and the list can go on. I have this inkling to draw a distribution for each parameter to define the average for each. And also find out what is the mean, mode and median for each parameter. So that I can define better what is "average", in a more unbiased manner. Note that parameters can be discrete (eg: gender) or continuous (eg: social etiquette). So that I can come up with something that would look like this (sorry for the blur image. I can't be bothered to draw them, or look for a better pic, but I am sure this would give you an understanding of the graphs I want to highlight) :




I would probably be able to find data for such distributions, at least for parameters that can be defined, such as income and number of years of education of Singaporeans. But out of an urge to share what I feel instead of sharing based on findings, I will put aside doing more thorough research on defining what is "average". For now, average Singaporean to me would be "working class, blank stares at times, un-fine tuned language, follower, and others". I would first have to apologise for all the negative descriptions as stated above, these are based on my first thoughts that come to my mind. My mind if unfiltered, with all the noise coming from how I perceive things, and culture/socio experiences. The true picture would probably be "HDB flat, working ppl, at least high school education, know at least 2 languages".

Now I will stop all the stats talk and talk normally for now.

How come I never realised that so many Singaporeans actually speak Mandarin? And not any kind of Mandarin, but Singapore Mandarin. It just surprises me. Where have I been these 4 years in Singapore? In a university where I virtually can put my second language at the back of my head. Where the only people I speak Mandarin to are the Chinese and one Singaporean friend.

Note that I do enjoy speaking Mandarin sometimes, at different occassions. I do have an affinity with China, due to my exchange there. And I do speak Malaysian Mandarin, when I speak to my Penang friends.

And how come I see people who gossip and talk about their dissatisfaction in life/work/relationships so openly? Helloo, there is more to life than just being dissatisfied with it. Yes, I can be tired, sad, frustrated, but I also have hope, joy and happiness within me. I want to see that more in people, and not just give the usual "I'm tired/I have things to do" kinda answer.

I obviously live in a different environment. Where I love talking about things that I am passionate about, where I can be loud and angry, where I speak English most of the time (though hold on to some perceived traditional thoughts. On second thoughts, I would say I speak loose Singlish most of the time), where I go back home every now and then.

Ah. God, just humble me. Put down the pride in me. Not to speak evil words, but words of encouragement.