I know it's the end of the year, and wishes should come, "May it be a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year". Put that aside for awhile. I'm sad. I'm mourning. Oh Lord. It's early.

Why does it have to be so soon? Why now? It's news that many of us have yet to come to terms with. At the back of our minds will be just "Oh, Rajan...he's around somewhere (in Singapore or Malaysia, wherever), I know him". Not just in our minds, in our hearts too. He's in our heart. And he's living there. How can I tell my mind, that a friend, a dear friend, has departed from this Earth? How can I psycho my brain, telling it that I can never again see him, bump into him in SMU or beyond? Tell me.

I don't feel like talking about it. Just feeling it. After awhile, I realised that it doesn't matter how close or not close I was to Rajan. It's the bond that I have with him which causes me to be impacted. Somewhere in my heart, he has left an impression on me, making me emotionally connected to him, and thus the hole in my heart.

Rajan was a sweet funny guy. Someone whom you'll always smile at whenever you see him. Someone who would make you smile. That, would definitely be missed. I'm glad having him around, being a Malaysian in SMU and all. It helps. I'm glad also that he's not a typical too-holy Christian too. I'm so sorry Lord to say this. But it makes him more approachable.

Why, does a brilliant young mind, a 23 year old who's about to graduate by July next year and do good to the world and people around him, pass away? Tell me.

But yes, I know that ultimately, I don't have the answer. God does. God has his timings. His ways and plans. Maybe this premature departure is to awaken some of us, to tell us, that we should cherish those around us.

Thanks friend, for being there with me when I heard the news. It helps.

To my friends, I LOVE YOU.

I just feel like saying this (don't say that I'm a lesbian har) but Sarah, I love you!

Rajan, you're a great guy. Thanks for being part of my life.

The psalm below is usually referenced during funerals.

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.


1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,


3 he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.


4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.


5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.


6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.