I'm now going to share something deeper than what happened on the surface. It's not the fun that I felt during the trip, but the sadness. So be prepared, and bear with me.

Phew. 10 days of fun. 10 days of tiredness. 10 days of a Middle East experience. What can I say. I am blessed. More than what happened on the surface, more than the cultural exchanges that I experienced, more than that, I experience a culture shock, even within the group I travelled with.

Not many of my BSM friends know this. I think the only person who knows is Alvin. Not many of my other friends around me know this too. How can they. They probably won't understand. Even if they would, it's too much hassle to explain. Sufficient it is just having a few close friends to understand.

Since the first few days of the trip, I was questioning myself: how come they behave this way? How come people can be so selfish?

I guess I set my expectations too high. I thought that after what my TA said in the pre-departure email, asking us to be of a helping hand to each other, people in the group would actually be more helpful. Yes, expectations kill. By and large, the group I travelled with didn't meet my expectations.

Such occurences happen....My girl friend was holding a lot of things in her hands, as she was in-charge of corporate gifts. They were heavy. But as guys walk past, they didn't offer a helping hand. One, even said:"it looks very heavy", sniggered, and walked past her. When she related the story to me, I was shocked. How can such an attitude even exist within the travel group? Aren't we all in this together?

I think it is very important to look out for each other in such groups, like when people need help, people are not feeling well, ask them, how they are. Be sensitive, and observant to the things happening around you.

I was deeply saddened when my friend got scolded by Prof on something during the trip. Such things, friends getting scolded, should be noticed by people in the travelling group. I don't know was it because I was a closer friend, and therefore I noticed, or was it because others were not as observant.

10 days. To be frank, I couldn't click with many of them. But that's okay, that's normal. Usually as humans we only click with a chosen few. I wanted to mix with others not in my usual clique, but I felt bad leaving. Therefore, I still mixed around with them.

I guess what my dad said was right: you can only choose to keep on giving when you learn to give and not feel tired. I was giving, and not receiving at all. I felt emotionally, mentally tired.

On the last day at Mr Seah's house, Alvin asked me a simple question:



"Are you Okay?"

I couldn't take it any longer. I broke down and cry.

No, I wasn't okay. I didn't understand the people around me, their selfish, or not so giving, behaviour. I mean, they are good guys...but just not as giving as I expected them to be.

Being in a foreign place, each one needed a lot of help. Emotionally, physically, mentally. Cheering one up, asking how they are, helping someone take things..all of these small things count. It wasn't just only the incident describe above that made me feel this way. Many other similar situtations happen which generated such deep sadness within me.

At least not many people noticed I cry. And those who did, assumed that I cry cus I was sentimental, cus it was the last day. Good. At least they don't know the real reason. It would be so difficult to say.

On the 8 hour journey back from Oman to Abu Dhabi, Alvin sat beside me, hearing me out. I explained everything to him, how I felt, how tired I felt, and how I felt about other things. I was soooo grateful for him. He was silent, just listening. Offering advice only when I stopped talking. And he understood how I felt. Thank God. Alvin has been one of the very helpful souls along, helping Daniel up and down the bus, carrying him everytime. Daniel has muscular distrophy, and can't walk very fast. He limps. He came with us for this trip as Prof was very kind to help him seek sponsors for his trip. As he couldn't walk properly he had a wheelchair. Alvin carried Daniel up and down the bus at every stop. Alvin spurs me on to be a kind soul among the travel group.

It was a good time of just pouring out my feelings, and it helped that he understood, as he held my hand, making me feel comforted, in the midst of my overwhelming feelings.

It may be because I didn't grow up in such a culture, of caring of yourself first before others, that led to this shock within me. Bear in mind, I didn't grow up admist Singaporeans, who were the majority in my travel group. Now I know, that when I travel with people, it doesn't matter where we go to, but who the company is. I went to such an exotic place - the Middle East, a place that many of my peers have not went before. But I wasn't happy. As compared to the Pulau Perhentian trip I went with my HSC friends 3 years ago, although only in Malaysia, it brought sweet memories.

Therefore, I thank God for friends around me, friends whom understand me, whom I can click with.

-end-