I was serving in N2 just now. N2 is my church's nursery for children age 1 1/2 to 3 - a place for parents to place them so that they'll be undisturbed during service. There's also N1 - age 0 to 1 1/2, and N3 - age 3 to 4.
I was quite reluctant to serve in N2 (as always), because I don't know how to handle them! I can't talk to them like how I talk to a 4 year old, and they don't understand anything I say! Darn. When I was in Penang, I served in the Jr Cids ministry, which was for children 4 to 6 years old. I am not a person who goes "a-gu-gu!!! So cute!!!" *pinch cheek* person. It took me awhile to get used to them. But 2 1/2!? I don't know what they want, and it's worse when they cry. Darn. It'll take me ages.
Anyway, probably because I subconsciously am relunctant to serve, I woke up late today (and I mean very late), and had doubts about whether I should go anyway. My cell leader smsed me and persuaded me to go, and so, I obediently went.
Once I reached, I was handed over a girl who needed someone to carry in order for her to hush. She was okay with me carrying her; she didn't reject me, but cried on and off. Throughout the whole session, I carried her. At a point in time, I was quite tired, and wanted to hand her over to another helper, but I decided that I don't want to trouble others...For 1 hour, she cried, wailed, sniffed...my whole left shoulder and part of my hair was wet after that.
I kinda knew what she wanted through the way she was clinging onto my neck and kicking my tummy. She wanted someone to carry, and so I did. But at times, I thought that she went overboard - other kids were listening to the teacher, some were playing, but at least there were okay by themselves! She was still clinging onto me! I wanted to discipline her, so at times, I refused to carry her.
I was quite tired after caring for her for 1 hour. Throughout the time, it brought me to ponder about loads of things from a mum's perspective...I remember when I was young, my mum said that I was so naughty, that even my maid, who was presumably quite patient, got fed up with me, and placed me outside my condo to let me cry and wail. Now I understand what she means. I mean, why can't that child stop crying? Others can! When comparison comes in, it kills the love.
It is also physically exhausting caring for a young child...you need to know what the child wants, and that may take some time. After you know, you need to ponder whether you wanna give it to him/her because you don't wanna spoil the child...when he/she cries, you have to carry him/her, maybe for hours before she falls asleep and stops crying.
My response towards the child in N2 is a learned response. I was glad that I wasn't treating her like how I remembered my mum treated me, but I also learnt that my love for her had a limit. I have to let God use me and give me strength to love her. The part about my learned response is that some how I was taught that you have to let the child to be independent, and not always give in to whatever he/she wants. That's why I refused to carry her, even when I knew what she wanted. I think that was how my mum treated me. Now I know why some mum's want their children to be independent. It was how they were taught to be.
I think a lot of strength, care and love is needed to be a mum...I would have to depend a lot on God for strength to love my own child!
5 comments:
hmmm...kids...lol
i find it hard to love other people's children...but i guess in order to love them, u have to spend more time with them. =) once u know the child's temperament, wants/needs, personality...it'd be easier for u to handle them. some kids need more attention than others, some can take harsh treatments compared to others...every child needs to b treated differently. the child might b feeling unwell etc. omg, i'm lecturing...but i guess u'll get the hang of it after a while. =) i know u can do it! hehe...加油! God bless! <3
taking about ur own kid...haha...i think i already have a son. LOL no matter how much ur kid cries, when u see that innocent smile/laughter on ur kid's face again, all the anger/frustrations are juz worth it! & when he/she calls u "mama", omg! u'd juz melt into a puddle. =P i miss my baby!! sorry la, i think we should chat more so that i won't b spamming ur comment box. LOL
Haha! Thanks soooo much for your comment! After I wrote e post, I kinda wish that you'd comment, cus u're a psychologist, and you love children so much!
I think it's easier to love other children leh. You don't have to bear with their whatever nots. Just need to play with them, enjoy ourselves, and it's "bye bye!" to them, giving them back to their parents to handle the pain.
Hmm...yea, haha, I know what you mean...when the kid smiles, all the anger and frustrations would just go away....but I don't know. I think my mum always gives me the impression that I'm a nuisance, no matter wat...advice needed psychologist! Haha. U can email me if u want. =P
ROTFL well, ur wish had come true. =D hmmm...i dunno leh wat kinda advice u want/need leh. haha...i think it's kinda easier to handle ur own child cause u can scold/beat (if needed) but other ppl's kids =S i dun dare to scold/beat. LOL so i get even more frustrated. well, not that i scold/beat "my" baby la. juz an example of y it's easier to handle ur own kid. but it's true too what u said...about not having to bear with their whatever nots. hmm..then again, every individual is different so there's not 1 particular way to handle a child. hehehe XP
LOL really? ur mom makes it seem like u're a nuisance? maybe she's juz bad at expressing herself. =)
Agreed on your 2nd comment. =PPP But she's much better now. =)
Thanks for your insights!
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