I think all my friends or close friends will know that I have been through a fair share of relationships 2 years before. If you know me well enough, you would know that I have not been engage in any official "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationship for around that period of time. Just a superficial view of the facts will be interesting to analyse: why the sudden halt in relationships?

For those who have yet to engage in any relationship because you are still waiting for "the one" to come along, I salute you. You have all my respect. Although at times you may wonder what it is like to be in an official relationship, it is great that you are taking your stand, and sticking to it. Your stand for not being in a relationship may include: not having met the right one, waiting to reach a certain age before engaging in a relationship or that you want to have more freedom now, since you're still young. No matter what, it is really great for you to stick by it. I think it is rather selfless of you, really. I have to confess that a few years ago, I am rather selfish when it comes to relationships. My reasons to be in a relationship last time were as follows:
1. Because the person asked. Regardless on whether I genuinely like that person, there is a possibility that I'm with that person. I did not let the person know my boundary/my criteria for a partner.
2. Because I genuinely liked that person. I am happy with that person, but I also seek love from him. That means that the love is conditional. In a way, it can be considered as selfish love. Which is normal. People thrive in happiness, and when you are happy with that person, you would want to be with that person. (But now, I believe that there is more to relationship love than that)

Now, I believe that we should not be so selfish in relationships. In a relationship, it is more than just loving that person genuinely. Being in a relationship requires me to serve him too, and not just to satisfy my hunger for happiness and feeling of loneliness. That is my stand, and you needn't agree with it.

I believe that those of you who stick by your stand are not selfish people, but are people who care about what your future partner feels. Not letting your pursuer know your boundaries is selfish. It may be out of fear that you do not reveal your boundaries, but not revealing them is very selfish of you.

So now, I have certain boundaries that I abide on before I consider being in a relationship. What are the oh-so-selfless reasons for not engaging in a relationship now? (Besides the point that i have yet to meet the right one) Well, I'm not in a relationship now cus I'm in a process of refining. Refining to become a better person. Cus like how God is the potter, I am His clay. I am still being moulded by Him to become a better partner, heh.

What aspects am I refining? Now here comes the 3 reasons:
1. My domineering personality.
I realised that when I am in a relationship, I tend to be quite domineering. I will insist my way be done, but that should not be the case. God says in Ephesians 5:22-28:

22Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Saviour of the body. 24Therefore, just as the church is subject to Chirst, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it, 26that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27that he might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28So husbands ought to love their own wieves as their own bodies;he who loves his wife loves himself.
And that is where I am still struggling. But waiting for God to mould me. =)
2. My ego is big.
God says in James 4:10:
Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.
I have to say that I am still very proud/egoistic. Whenever a pov that differs from mine is brought up, I am reluctant to accept it. Wives are supposed to be submissive. Furthermore as God's child, I have to learn to be humble to my husband. Nevertheless, things were much worse in the past. I'm still improving, heh.
3. I hurt people badly with my words.
James 3:5-6
5Even so the toungue is a little member and boast great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! 6And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.
The tongue is a strong strong thing, and I should put it into good use, not to hurt people (though it may be difficult). This is not a pre-req to overcome before I am in a relationship, but it is great to refine my tongue throughout my life. =D
It may be weird to you why I don't want to indulge in relationships and stuff. You may think that I am a perfectionist or what not, that the perfect person may not come along, that a relationship requires acceptance of each others downfalls. But since I know my downfalls will put the relationship into jeopardy (not as if I haven't tried being in a relationship before...I know the consequences of not being refined and being in a relationship at the same time), I should let God refine me first before meeting the perfect one who comes along. =D